Buddy was in the bathroom where there is a long mirror hanging behind the door. He had been in there for a while so I went to check on him;
Me: 'Hey Dude, what are you doing in there.'
Buddy: 'I'm trying to look at my butt.'
Me: 'Oh.'

At the store last Christmas;
Buddy, quietly: ‘Excuse me.’
Buddy, loud enough for other shoppers to hear quite well ‘Hey Mom, I said excuse me for my butt!’
Me: ‘Thanks for that Dude.’

In a public restroom;
Buddy: ‘Mom, you got poops?’
Sport: ‘You go poopies Mommy?’
Me: ‘Hey boys, look at that over there.’
Buddy: ‘Mommy, you got a lot of poops.’
Sport: ‘Good job Mommy, you did it!’
No, we were not alone and yes, I could hear other women giggling.

Buddy: ‘Mom, I got an owie on my finger.’
Me: ‘Oh yea, how did you get it.’
Buddy: ‘At Wal-Mart. There was a river, and I fell in the river, and there was a shark, and the shark came and bit me. That’s how I got my owie.’
Me: ‘Next time you tell that shark that people are not for biting.’

Jay: ‘Who is going to be President?’
Buddy: ‘Barack Obama’
Sport: ‘ME!’