At least, this is how we do it.
Thursday, get call from best friend, toilet is stopped up. Kay, no big deal.
Get home, take industrial strength plunger, (not that crappy little one with the red rubber plunger and wood handle, uh uh, not in my house), plunge the toilet like your life depends on it until your bra is soaked through with sweat.
Hmm. Give up, call friend of a friend out of work plumber. Fifty bucks to drive over with a drain snake. Great.
Plumber snakes the drain and talks way too much for 45 minutes. Gives up. Must be a toy or something in the toilet.
Wait until Saturday when you feel like getting nasty with plumbing goo to take toilet off. Remove toilet. Note water nearly to the rim of the floor in the drain. Nothing in toilet. Bummer.
Off to Home Depot. I love me some Home Depot.
Buy a 25 foot drain snake for $13. Get home and shove it down the drain, all 25 feet of it. Nothing happens. Hmmm. Notice when the toilet upstairs is flushed water comes higher up the drain. Ewww. Pull out 25 feet of snake that has been down the sewer line and realize you can't take a shower.
Call real plumber.
Plumber says between 4 and 6pm and guarantees they will be there or no charge for service call. Deal. Request rough estimate for clearing a drain. Can't be given over the phone.
5:50pm plumber calls, says they will arrive in the morning. Calmly and clearly explain the problem and remind them they agreed to a time and will arrive to fix toilet. Agree the plumber will arrive by 7pm.
7pm plumber calls, he is across town and he'd like to explain it will be $377 to clear the drain. Mention he should really stop getting high at work and politely hang up. Call office and have mild freak out. Office explains they will send someone right out.
8pm plumber arrives. Says it will be $377 to clear the drain. Show him the door. Laugh when he says he'll have to collect the $50 service call fee. Buh bye.
Go to Home Depot to rent 100 foot drain snake. $54 dollars and kind of an explination of how to use the machine later, shove it down the drain and turn it on.
Run it for ten minutes then notice it's not going down the drain. Oops. Turn other knob and try again. Run for 45 minutes and watch the snake go down the drain very, very slowly.
11pm, take break and go to bed.
7am, wake up and start again. Look down drain, yay some of the water is gone. Um, why can I see the end of the snake. Oh, becuase it broke. Wonder how to pull the snake out and how far down the drain it is. Reach in the drain and pull out the snake. Realize that in running it for 45 minutes the previous night it had gone about one foot before snapping.
Back to Home Depot.
No charge for breaking equipment. Rent 50 foot snake and hope the clog is within 50 feet. Get home, try again. Feed the snake down the drain. Keep going. Still more. Almost to the end. Um about two feet left. One foot. Yay! Water runs down the drain.
High fives and happy dance. Pull out the snake and find a baby wipe attached to the end. Wonder how many had to go down the toilet to clog it like that. Hide baby wipes.
Put garden hose down toilet drain and run for five minutes to make sure it's really clear. Take shower so hot it's barely tolerable. Return snake to Home Depot. Resist the powerful urge to call plumber and gloat.
Go back to Home Depot to return the parts of the snake you forgot the first time.
Start dishwasher and washing machine. Have celebratory giggles. Listen for a moment wondering what the awful sound is. Try not to cry when you realize the washing machine just broke.
Thursday, get call from best friend, toilet is stopped up. Kay, no big deal.
Get home, take industrial strength plunger, (not that crappy little one with the red rubber plunger and wood handle, uh uh, not in my house), plunge the toilet like your life depends on it until your bra is soaked through with sweat.
Hmm. Give up, call friend of a friend out of work plumber. Fifty bucks to drive over with a drain snake. Great.
Plumber snakes the drain and talks way too much for 45 minutes. Gives up. Must be a toy or something in the toilet.
Wait until Saturday when you feel like getting nasty with plumbing goo to take toilet off. Remove toilet. Note water nearly to the rim of the floor in the drain. Nothing in toilet. Bummer.
Off to Home Depot. I love me some Home Depot.
Buy a 25 foot drain snake for $13. Get home and shove it down the drain, all 25 feet of it. Nothing happens. Hmmm. Notice when the toilet upstairs is flushed water comes higher up the drain. Ewww. Pull out 25 feet of snake that has been down the sewer line and realize you can't take a shower.
Call real plumber.
Plumber says between 4 and 6pm and guarantees they will be there or no charge for service call. Deal. Request rough estimate for clearing a drain. Can't be given over the phone.
5:50pm plumber calls, says they will arrive in the morning. Calmly and clearly explain the problem and remind them they agreed to a time and will arrive to fix toilet. Agree the plumber will arrive by 7pm.
7pm plumber calls, he is across town and he'd like to explain it will be $377 to clear the drain. Mention he should really stop getting high at work and politely hang up. Call office and have mild freak out. Office explains they will send someone right out.
8pm plumber arrives. Says it will be $377 to clear the drain. Show him the door. Laugh when he says he'll have to collect the $50 service call fee. Buh bye.
Go to Home Depot to rent 100 foot drain snake. $54 dollars and kind of an explination of how to use the machine later, shove it down the drain and turn it on.
Run it for ten minutes then notice it's not going down the drain. Oops. Turn other knob and try again. Run for 45 minutes and watch the snake go down the drain very, very slowly.
11pm, take break and go to bed.
7am, wake up and start again. Look down drain, yay some of the water is gone. Um, why can I see the end of the snake. Oh, becuase it broke. Wonder how to pull the snake out and how far down the drain it is. Reach in the drain and pull out the snake. Realize that in running it for 45 minutes the previous night it had gone about one foot before snapping.
Back to Home Depot.
No charge for breaking equipment. Rent 50 foot snake and hope the clog is within 50 feet. Get home, try again. Feed the snake down the drain. Keep going. Still more. Almost to the end. Um about two feet left. One foot. Yay! Water runs down the drain.
High fives and happy dance. Pull out the snake and find a baby wipe attached to the end. Wonder how many had to go down the toilet to clog it like that. Hide baby wipes.
Put garden hose down toilet drain and run for five minutes to make sure it's really clear. Take shower so hot it's barely tolerable. Return snake to Home Depot. Resist the powerful urge to call plumber and gloat.
Go back to Home Depot to return the parts of the snake you forgot the first time.
Start dishwasher and washing machine. Have celebratory giggles. Listen for a moment wondering what the awful sound is. Try not to cry when you realize the washing machine just broke.
OMG.....Labor Day Nightmare!
WOW, you are even braver than I thought! This does not sound like fun!
Been thinking about you and getting a little worried. I hope you are just super busy with the boys and staying home from work more. Do a catch up post...K?